Benjamin Webster

"Waffles. We must all have waffles, forthwith."

Benjamin is an addict. We say this openly because admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming addiction. Sadly, it is likely that this addiction will never fully be cured. Every attempt has been made to curtail this habit, yet still he sneaks out in the middle of the night just to get a waffle fix.

We've tried reasoning with him, threatening him, cajoling him, beggin him; we even put rat poison in his whipped cream, but it has all been to no avail. He still dreams about waffles, writes about waffles and doodles little waffle patterns in the margins. The only way we can get him to eat meat is if we puree it into a batter and then cook it in a waffle machine.


Email:
benjamin@jdstairs.com